The Power of Tender Words

Peering into the close intimate relationships of others may prick your heart.

Let me explain.

As I read a generic email from a dad to his two daughters, the words jumped off the page. He began the message by calling his girls by a tender name. Without warning, reading those words instantly brought tears to my eyes. I sat quietly as they slowly spilled, rolling down my cheeks. My eyes and nose became rosy red. Strong emotions welled up inside. My mind wondered…what must it feel like to have your father speak such sweet words to you.

Later that same day it happened again, once more the tears were back. I thought of the tenderness, love and intimacy in those simple words. There was such power in those words. I feel certain the dad didn’t think twice about what he typed, because that was who he was with his children. His tender words were a window into their relationship.

I have no memories of a father who spoke to me in such a loving manner. I am certain I’m not alone in that respect. Adopted at birth, I guess I could speculate that perhaps my adopted father spoke sweet words to me as an infant or toddler.

Even though it has been 21 years since I found my birth mother and her family, I still do not know the identity of my birth father. This led me to think of other women I know in the same situation without a relationship with a father.

My older sister and I share the same birth mother. She and her 3 older siblings all share the same birth father. A father who in his later years actually took legal action to disinherit all 4 of his children. I would describe that as cruel, and I wonder why a father would do that?

Later in her life my sister had a stepfather. Her mom actually became jealous of her relationship with him, kicking my sister out of the house the day after she turned 18! How could a mother do that?

A close friend of mine raised by her grandmother also had no relationship with her father. Later in life her mother married, and my friend had a stepfather who actually cared about her. But once again jealousy raised its ugly head, and my friend knew she had to move out.

Words matter. Whether written or spoken. They are powerful.

Many of us never heard loving words from our fathers. Maybe not even from our mothers. I was blessed to know each and every day that my mom who adopted me loved me. She frequently reminded me, calling me her precious treasure, or P.T. for short.

Maggie, my birth mother was already deceased when I found her family 21 years ago. Thankfully she at least cared enough to not have an abortion, and for that I will always be grateful. I’m glad I was adopted.

There are two important points I’d like you to consider:

• Tell your children, spouse, parents, siblings and other family members that you love and care about them. We can never hear those words too often.

• If you never heard tender loving words from your father or mother, look to God’s Word for what your heart needs to hear from your heavenly Father. He loves and cares about you and desires to have a personal relationship with you.

“I will be a Father to you, and you, will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty”. 2 Corinthians 6:18

I may be the only person you have known that has been adopted 3 times. The first time was at birth, and Rosemary and George brought me home from the hospital when I was 3 days old. The second time was in middle school when my mom remarried, convincing her new husband to adopt me. But the third and most important adoption took place when I was in high school and asked Jesus into my heart. God adopted me, and that adoption has had the most profound spiritual and emotional impact on my life.

We all want to feel loved and cherished. All of us need to hear tender sweet words.

“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24

Your words are a powerful gift.