The Ring

I never met my birth mother. Maggie was already deceased when I found my birth family twenty-one years ago.

Any information about her has been limited to what I’ve been told by my sister Amber, my aunt Ardith, or other relatives. I’ve been given photos which helped me reconstruct what was her life. Some questions of course remain unanswered. However, I have pieced together stories and findings from Ancestry.com to attempt to understand who she was.

Currently my husband and I are visiting my sister Amber in Tallahassee, Florida, enjoying our time with her and her husband Dave. Any time spent with a sibling is a treasure, especially since I grew up as an only child. I didn’t want to be an only child, but that is the way it turned out. There are also two other surviving older siblings, my older brothers Robert and Tommy who both live out west. We’ve only met once, and I wish we had more of a relationship, but it just doesn’t seem they want one. Showing up twenty-one years ago, I kind of came late to the party. Amber is the one I am close to, as we are four years apart and similar in our lifestyles and faith.

Today my sister gave me a ring which she said was a favorite of Maggie’s. Apparently, our mom wore it all the time, in fact there is a photo of her wearing it at Amber and Dave’s wedding. Sliding that ring on my finger gave me an odd feeling of peace. Perhaps because it ties me by a thin thread to the woman who gave birth to me in 1954. At the same time, I’m reminding myself that this ring was on the hand of the woman who surrendered me. She gave me away to people she didn’t know. So, why am I feeling peace? Because today I now have answers to many questions, answers I didn’t have years ago.

This ring is not only special because of who it belonged to; it is special because my sister made the decision to give it to me. It is the only tangible item that I have of my birth mom’s. My connection isn’t only to Maggie, but also to my five siblings. We all share DNA and the same mother.

Even though I may not know the identity of my birth father, what is far more important is that I do know my Father in heaven. He is the one who will never abandon me. I belong to Him for eternity, because my identity is defined by my faith in His son Jesus.

For those of you who are not adopted, you have the assurance of knowing your parents. You know where you came from and the story of your family history. For those of you who are adopted, many of us were blessed with adoptive parents committed to giving us their love and support for a lifetime.

Today, a special ring reminded me of both my birth mother as well as my adoptive parents. Rings are unbroken circles crafted to be strong, able to survive both good and bad times in life. As they say in wedding vows, for better or for worse.

The symbolism of this ring is not lost on me. It is a powerful visual reminder of where I came from.